How To Live Forever

on August 15 | in Obscura | by | with No Comments

Like most people I read the newspaper headlines with a mixture of fear and dread. Not all issues are associated with the latest firing from the hip of the Donald. A lot concern health issues.

Inevitably there will be a scare about eating white bread, processed food or even haggis.  Social media has also infiltrated our souls with the urgent need for any intelligent being to become vegan. But the scary bit that really hits the panic button is drink. At one end of the scale are sugar based drinks that are now the work of the devil and at the other are drinks of the brewed and distilled variety.

We have long endured the persuasive recriminations of the NHS who implore us to moderate alcohol intake (for men)initially to a weekly maximum of 28 units. Later the limit was reduced to 21 units and currently it scrapes in at just 14 units. This dictat was further compounded by the need to have two days free of alcoholic tots a week, preferably consecutive days. There is no end to their evil. Will this never end. Critical to these restrictions is the need to preserve the liver.

But wait what news ‘from yonder window breaks’. Some great guys in the ministry of things have now discovered a little daily intake of alcohol actually prolongs life. But just as we’ve digested this status to confuse matters further they announce the  other poison we all thoroughly enjoy and obviously must now avoid is caffeine.

But wait, we now we learn that a few cups of coffee a day has a wonderfully beneficial effect on the liver. It helps the liver repair itself.

What to do. It would seem best that we take these health warning with a pinch of salt. But obviously not too much salt as this would jack up the blood pressure, ruining the liver and require more coffee and a few beers to correct. And life’s too short to accommodate all this – but then our lives are being extended as we drink- see opening remarks and do keep up!

 

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