Stray Underwear

on April 4 | in Obscura | by | with No Comments

Cannot abide waste. Something my Dad taught me which still holds true today. He of prisoner of war experience would cringe if anything was “left on the plate”. This philosophy also covered virtually every inanimate object.

I’m obliged to retain everything in case it comes in useful. Frequently it does, which surprises everyone, except my Dad (bless him) and me. Thus having avoided some waste and waded through some time expired beer I recently had good reason to clear out a wardrobe. I was told to.

This produced a surprising element. A suitcase borrowed some years ago by a female friend of my daughter surfaced. They were travelling around Italy as students and the small case was all that was needed. It hadn’t been used since for some years and thereby due to be recycled. Clearing out the various pockets in the case out pops a ladies thong. Now this causes confusion as well as concern. The lass is from the antipodes where thongs are what we call flip-flops. But this thong thing was ladies underwear.

This rang immmediate alarm bells, how do you explain to your better half that you have found a pair of lady’s thongs in your suitcase without one hell of a cast iron alibi. Also any telecom conversation to gather defence intel from the lass concerned was deemed not to go well either. Footwear versus undergarments, singular versus pair would do little help clarify ownership. Thus to maintain the status on “a need to know basis” the thong(s) were immediately cast deep into the dustbin, never to be recycled; they were classified as potential toxic waste – if you follow the drift. Anyway you can’t recycle thongs, surely. And we’ll leave it there. Sorry Dad

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