Tixerb; novel way to start the day

We have adopted a new game in the household. How long after the start of a news bulletin does the newscaster mention the word Brexit. For months now the record held at around 5 seconds. But the other day this record was smashed. The very first word uttered by the poor chap was ‘Brexit’, rather like an involuntary sneeze.

Two years into the game and most are getting a tad tired of the rules, not that we actually know what they are. Luckily nobody else does either, well except from the infamous M. Barnier. He knows the rules backwards, they are written on a piece of paper he holds in his lap, in French. Fat chance we will ever get to see this bit of paper, even if we did we wouldn’t understand what is written. Its in French.

The Brexit game is akin to tit for tat, hide and seek, and British Bulldog all rolled into one. The rules are bent, re-bent and adapted as the game goes along such that at one time no player actually knows the state of play. The end point is to become a ballon debate where the better orator wins and gets to chuck the opponent out of the “balloon”.

In the meantime our troops in Westminster are running around like headless chickens. The only outcome so far is to chuck up a load of dust in a vain attempt to confuse the enemy. Regretfully they forgot the dust will also confuse our own troops.

Some of us wonder over the origins ig the word referendum. Ignoring the dictionary, which says it is a general vote by the electorate on a single political question which has been referred to them for a direct decision. A more accurate definition now being: The outcome when Westminster looses all sense of reason, and ability to control anything then decides to hold a referendum in order to blame the electorate.

Finally, just in case you wondered about the word Tixerb it means Brexit backwards, rather app description of Westminster.

North Vote In Referendum Unclear

Today’s thought centres on the way ahead for the UK and/or Europe. Our prime minister of London and the South East has a hell of a task before him. We mortals have scant knowledge as to the content of his remonstrations with his mates around Europe. This is commendable; the best way to avoid being judged is  never disclose what the hell you were discussing. Yet there is a sting for we ignorant  mushroom growers* will surely be asked to vote in the referendum. (*Kept in the dark and fed manure)

Northerners are still bewitched by the concept of the Chancellors ‘Northern Powerhouse’ that popped up just before the election. And popped down just after. Virtually all investment cash – if we have anything to invest after the corporate giants have cheated on their tax bill has been allocated to London. Even non-cash assets such as the photographic library in Bradford have been nicked by London – for the greater good apparently.

I believe the guys in the North should be given the responsibility to grab, or even collect the corporation tax direct from our erring mates in the big corporations. The proceeds can be allocated to the Northern Powerhouse. This should be straightforward for the Viking and Anglo Saxon genes that abound in the North. They are a little more tactile than tax collectors in London who seemingly win awards for giving tax away.

Back in Europe the mess Volkswagen got into with squirting toxic fumes out of their rear ends, then telling fibs, has been resolved. The European chaps that ripped the bits off British farmers during the BSE scare have declared the toxic fumes specification should be eased until 2020. This is to allow Volkswagen, BMW, Mercedes and Audi, yes they are all German manufactures, the chance to get legal and tell the truth. All other car manufacturers who do tell the truth will have to wait until the Germans catch up. This is good policy.

Back up North, the Vikings are accommodating many more migrants than in the South. You can work out why yourself. If you can swim you are sent North for it is largely submerged. We watched  as the massive cock up by the integrated joined-up thinking and liaison at the very heart of Europe fell flat on its face on this score. We are part of a club of 28 totally separate members all with different reasons for being a member, and none have little idea where the North of England is. Well maybe except the Danes, Germans, Romans and French who wandered around a few year ago,  the rest believe  it used to be the bit that used to separate the Irish Sea from the North Sea but not any more.

The dilemma about which way the referendum could go will get a lot clearer in the North. But then probably their vote won’t count as Brussels will declare some new law stating that Northern Powerhouse is disenfranchised for the duration of any referendum, and you think I’m joking.