Forget Fracking Drilling Glass Is Much More Traumatic

In the quest to enhance the appearance of the house I hold with the great belief that candles have a significant role to play.

To me it’s complete  natuaral to acquire two fancy glass candlesticks. Not that large mind you but these two beauties were fitted with a hollow stem filled with decorative small glass beads.

Designed to enhance the appearance it was my believe they would look better withought the beads. No matter said I, privately, with my nice new and rather expensive ceramic drill I should be able to drill a hole through the top of the candlestick into the stem and tip out the glass beads.  The intended outcome was that the candlestick would then have a slender glass tube supporting it. This is where assumption overtook reality – as is often the case with my projects.

The thickness of the glass was grossly underestimated. Due to an optical illusion what I thought was to be a 3 mm thick  piece of grass turned out to be 14 mm. Once the drilling commenced we were committed.

Ignoring the fact the drill scooted slightly off centre progress was disturbingly slow.  The drill bit also started to get bleeding hot and on several occasions I had to stop to let things cool down concerned that the grass might crack. An hour and a half later the drill bit was actually sparking and a reddish light seen in the depths of the whole, finally broke through into the glass beads.

At this point I at least had the presence of mind to tip the glass beads into a small plastic container, just in case the mission was to be abandoned. I duly positioned and the empty glass tube, which I thought was rather fetching on the dining room table and sumoned the higher authority to review the outcome. Long story short it was ceremoniously rejected, saying “you’ve got far too much time on your hands, that looks bloody awful and you spent how long drilling that bleeding hole?”

Reversing the processwas slightly demoralising but in the spirit of maintaining harmony I poured all the glass beads back into the tube. This is where I discovered They had become mixed with the powdered glass, (grey) and 3 million particles of disintegrated drillbit, (black). It looked awful and now Way would it pass the quality control check that hovered.

The remedy appeared simple; just give the  beads  a quick wash and separate beads from the offending matter using the kitchen sieve. Regrettably I was spotted. My explanation I was merely trying to remove powered glass and distingrated drill bit from the beads Was met with an icy stare. “Stop me when you spot the flaw” came the reply; Kitchen sieve, cooking, eating, powered glass shattered drill bit, yummy”. Moron.

Having so far wasted one and half drilling the hole, a drill bit I spent another hour rinsing powered glass using paper kitchen towel as filter paper and picking tiny, tiny drill bits with tweezers. Glass beads were finally reunited with candle stick and all is well. And life can rebegin.



Alistair Owens

The meandering thoughts of someone with too much time on his hands. Tending to see the obscure and irrelevant in most events I have been forced to record this by family members as a means of diverting attention away from them. But I see their plan.

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