Tixerb; novel way to start the day

We have adopted a new game in the household. How long after the start of a news bulletin does the newscaster mention the word Brexit. For months now the record held at around 5 seconds. But the other day this record was smashed. The very first word uttered by the poor chap was ‘Brexit’, rather like an involuntary sneeze.

Two years into the game and most are getting a tad tired of the rules, not that we actually know what they are. Luckily nobody else does either, well except from the infamous M. Barnier. He knows the rules backwards, they are written on a piece of paper he holds in his lap, in French. Fat chance we will ever get to see this bit of paper, even if we did we wouldn’t understand what is written. Its in French.

The Brexit game is akin to tit for tat, hide and seek, and British Bulldog all rolled into one. The rules are bent, re-bent and adapted as the game goes along such that at one time no player actually knows the state of play. The end point is to become a ballon debate where the better orator wins and gets to chuck the opponent out of the “balloon”.

In the meantime our troops in Westminster are running around like headless chickens. The only outcome so far is to chuck up a load of dust in a vain attempt to confuse the enemy. Regretfully they forgot the dust will also confuse our own troops.

Some of us wonder over the origins ig the word referendum. Ignoring the dictionary, which says it is a general vote by the electorate on a single political question which has been referred to them for a direct decision. A more accurate definition now being: The outcome when Westminster looses all sense of reason, and ability to control anything then decides to hold a referendum in order to blame the electorate.

Finally, just in case you wondered about the word Tixerb it means Brexit backwards, rather app description of Westminster.

Alistair Owens

The meandering thoughts of someone with too much time on his hands. Tending to see the obscure and irrelevant in most events I have been forced to record this by family members as a means of diverting attention away from them. But I see their plan.

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