Brand Offer

A key role of marketing is to promote a product that we need to rush out and buy or start tapping furiously to buy on line, preferably immediately.

Yet there is a strange logic as to how different categories of product are promoted. Most give you an idea of the end result; paint that is easily washed, mattresses that induce sleep just by looking at them. But a weird category is associated with hair and teeth care. These tend to give you the start point. Shampoo for dandruff, broken ends, oily scalp. Toothpaste for cavities, bad breath or stained teeth. Get the marketing message the wrong way and you enter a whole new and rather disconcerting world.

The same goes for the corporate slogan dreamt up by the advertising agency. The vast majority depict a utopian world known only by the chief marketing guru of the company. Next time you are following a truck have a look at the slogan and see if you can work out what the company does. Around 90 per cent are so all grand they look ludicrous. “Making the world a better place” is a classic. Joe Bloggs “famous pork pies” tells you exactly what they do. But my all time favourite is “We shovel shit ”  on the side of a cess pool emptying truck.

Alistair Owens

The meandering thoughts of someone with too much time on his hands. Tending to see the obscure and irrelevant in most events I have been forced to record this by family members as a means of diverting attention away from them. But I see their plan.

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