Wobbly Water Butt

Slightly ahead of the massive downpours we suffered during the autumn and winter, I bought a plastic butt to conserve water for the garden. The feel good factor lasted about three days before the butt was brim full, very heavy and starting to move about.

It sat on a plastic base that came with the butt. The weight of the water caused the butt to lean to the left. I stuck a bit of wood under the left side of the butt to bring it upright. A week later it leaned to the right. The wood swapped sides and the fight began.

After an embarrassing sequence of swapping sides with temporary effect, the big guns came out. It needs a stronger base, I thought. Four stout legs and a new base were made. The butt replaced, and a week later the Pisa effect reappeared. More strengthening I thought so it then sat on six stout legs and still the bloody thing still leant. Finally the fault revealed; it had n’owt to do with the base; the butt has an upstand in its design meaning it sits a very small area. I am still ramming wood left and right to lift it off the doggy area and determined to win this one. And the conclusion – I intend to sort this and with covig-19 isolation on my side I aim defeat the antics of a mere plastic water butt, which by the way still remains brim full and not a drop has yet been used to water the bleeding garden.

Alistair Owens

The meandering thoughts of someone with too much time on his hands. Tending to see the obscure and irrelevant in most events I have been forced to record this by family members as a means of diverting attention away from them. But I see their plan.

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