All Change At The Next Stop

There are many changes to life as we knew it. Over the next, say, year hopefully the nastiness in our lives will have eased but although the lights may be slowly turned back on they be a different colour.

Social distancing SD will be the norm. Our tactile habits will be lost – an aberration of the past. This is going to hit certain cultures more than others. Parisians will have to adapt the “La Bise”(the triple cheek kiss) to be an entirely remote process, possibly along the lines of the King Louis era which involved a magnificent bow and hand waving flourish from two metres. They didn’t kiss as their teeth were rotten and most had halitosis, thus the bowing was an end to a means. This new approach could cause consternation as the arse of the bowing body could well interrupt the SD of the guys behind if you follow the drift here. Bowing and looking between the knees could solve the issue but will require a degree of flexibility not present in most of us.

Flying on holiday will need a break of six weeks minimum. This will cover the two weeks in quarantine on arrival, two weeks on holiday and two weeks in quarantine on return. An opportunity for hotels to have luxury quarantine suites before you get to enjoy the ‘open’ holiday.

Interesting to note the manipulations of the airlines who may get you there. Ryanair; don’t lend money to other airlines, has obtained a £300m loan from the British Government. Is it a little ingenuous to suggest the money should have come from the Irish Government for this Irish airline?

With around 60% of workers who are currently working from home suggesting they would prefer to continue working from home, especially when the kids are back at school. The avoidance of a crushed wearisome commute, wearing masks and SD with many saying they are more productive at home could pose interesting dilemmas. Trains, boats and planes will be running light on passengers. Massive office blocks in cities will be a burden, cost per employee will be extraordinary larger. The need for city centre locations less apparent when the majority of employees work away from the office; even parliament wow did I say that out loud!

As they say, out of chaos comes opportunity, thus the future could become quite extraordinary with many conventions being disrupted or superseded. Something that could be quite enlightening to contemplate in our lockdown days. 

Alistair Owens

The meandering thoughts of someone with too much time on his hands. Tending to see the obscure and irrelevant in most events I have been forced to record this by family members as a means of diverting attention away from them. But I see their plan.

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