Social Distancing Racing

There are a number of weird and wonderful issues emerging with the Rona virus. Like how to hold a race incorporating social distancing. But more important issues first; why has the consumption of shampoo dropped dramatically.

This appears be illogical, OK possibly just to me, but if we are all growing hair at a steady rate it would be reasonable to assume we need more shampoo. Apparently not. The statistics reveal the stay at home effect is the reduced frequency of washing hair. The not going out look. Who would have thought. Having uncovered this shattering piece of data has now left me free to explore other areas, like why bananas, which are the softest fruit on the planet yet when dried turn into something unbelievably hard tucked away in your brekky cereal. It like eating flavoured gravel.

Then of course there is the possibility of horse racing returning from lockdown Not a fan, haven’t a clue how it all works, but if social distancing (SD) is to played out presumably the conventional format of all the horses ripping around the course in close order will have to go. Sweat, spittle and other secretions will abound and then there are the horses.

Thus to complete a race al la SD the horses will have to follow each other leaving a two metres gap. Actually some happy chappy worked out the SD distance to negate the effluent from a faster moving body, such as a jogger, you really need a 10 metres gap. So horses a race would have to follow single file spaced 10 metres apart. This could prove a tad awkward to the stewards to decide whose turn it is to win, but it will save a fortune in the cameras required for photo finish.

And then there is my big buddies; cyclists. Single file is OK to motorists, bu the trend for the lycra brigade to ride abreast in close formation groups, or the damn outrider in a pair will definately need a SD rethink.

Alistair Owens

The meandering thoughts of someone with too much time on his hands. Tending to see the obscure and irrelevant in most events I have been forced to record this by family members as a means of diverting attention away from them. But I see their plan.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.