Face Masks; Necessity or Fashion Statement

There is every possibility wearing face masks will become the fashionable dress statement for months to come, but we still have a long way to go before it is second nature and effective.

Friday 24th July and wearing face masks in host of circumstances kicks in. But many of us have a way to go before we can relax in the knowledge that we are doing our collective best. A survey of people in a local town centre showed that people fall into five distinct categories.

The Nose Poker: The mask is worn below the nose. Assuming the wearer uses their nose at some point, if they inhale through the nose it’s bad news for them, if they exhale it’s bad news for us.

The Chin Parker: Around 50 per cent of the sample worn their mask under the chin like a beard hair net in a food factory. Presumably they shift the mask up when needs must in the meantime any virus caught on the outside of the fabric will be swept in with each inhalation?

The Bracelet: The mask is worn with the arm or wrist placed through the elastic ties to dangle about like a floppy bracelet.

The Head Parker: Similar to those guys who wear their sunglasses on their head, rather defeats the purpose?

The Commando: No mask; it won’t affect me! ( accepting some genuine cases of people who have health issues perhaps they should be given a lanyard which highlights this status)

What we need now is the supply of masks printed with a charity logo. Perhaps we all will all wear them with pride or as a fashion statement and raise funds for the embattled charity of choice.

Alistair Owens

The meandering thoughts of someone with too much time on his hands. Tending to see the obscure and irrelevant in most events I have been forced to record this by family members as a means of diverting attention away from them. But I see their plan.

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