Change Is Afoot

The lockdown has taken its toll in an unexpected area. My slippers have worn out. They hang on but slop about in a most ungainly manner that is affecting my gait.

Slippers start with every good intention; household use only, ie. do not nip out to the bins in the rain, a spot of urgent gardening or washing the car whilst wearing said indoor footwear. This lasts a couple of weeks before inappropriate use emerges in unguarded moments. Within six months the inside and outside use merges. To give them a sporting chance I have been selecting slippers that have a solid base; this limits design choice, colour is irrelevant.

But the lockdown has made us a nation of slippers wearers. Excessive use has stretched their function beyond the design brief by around 500%. Mine have stretched laterally and now resemble snow shoes. I have patched, stitched and glued. I have even inserted a cut-up mouse mat to provide a ‘new’ insole. But even this dutiful approach has met its nemesis.

The insole was perhaps a harbinger. Nobody is selling insoles at the moment and buying new slippers created a larger than expected quest. Debenhams, have de-stocked the entire range, House of Fraser (Binns) have shed their Pavers in store range, and M&S have six pairs in their entire stock offering, with just one being a size 9. These are adoring my feet as we speak. Far from my first choice they look like carpet slippers made from carpet which I understand was the original material used. Thus I expect they have “Classic Original” tag somewhere.

Strangely the retail buyers have overlooked the fact for the past six months as we have all been wearing slippers non stop at home – in the office. Unless you are one those underfloor heating homes, they will have all worn out during the lockdown. Thus an enlarged selection should maybe be placed to that other novel display rack – the material face masks.

Alistair Owens

The meandering thoughts of someone with too much time on his hands. Tending to see the obscure and irrelevant in most events I have been forced to record this by family members as a means of diverting attention away from them. But I see their plan.

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