Food Containers That Spit In Your Eye

Man or mankind against the world is a recurring theme in my bubble world. This week it the role of the food container that serves the manufacture well but spits in the eye of the unwary user.

Just like banks who send emails saying you need to view a message on your account. Read these soonest else we will come round and eat all of your cornflakes, it says. You click on the box, which then says error – service not available. You ponder. But they are not alone with suspect packaging. I am compiling a list of food packaging that spits in your eye. Some ingenious designs try and make the package easy to fill and allegedly easy to open. Not quite. The Appen guide to spitting food starts with baked bean tins.

The new pull ring is a beggar to lift from its parked position. Finger nails take on the fight but as the lid is peeled back there is no way you can avoid that last 5 per cent when you know deep down the lid to going to flick open and spit a bean or juice in your eye.

The plastic soup pot. Now I won’t criticise these too much as I have a huge amount of empty pots that have been reassigned to store all manner of screws, nails and strange never chuck away devices. These clear pots complete with lids allow them to be stacked as well. BUT the initial process of emptying the soup in pan or bowl is fraught with spitting. Firstly the lid seal is another finger nail biter. Then you are advise to shake the pot to stir the contents before opening the lid. And like the baked bean tin you can get about 90% of the lid off before things get interesting, and you know deep down there is no way to get to lid finally clear before it flicks soup in your eye.

Lea and Perrin Worcestershire sauce bottle. Give it shake as the manufactures advise, try then to get your finger nail under the tiny, tiny lip of the cap – no not the hinge – the other side, and it fly’s open whilst flicking sauce juice in your eye. Shake the bottle over your chips and shut the lid which does with a positive click and spits in your eye again. Then of course you eventually you reach the recycling dilemma. How do you rinse a bottle fitted with a tiny orifice to slow the reuse of the sauce in normal use. Patience os the theme, and once you git some rinse water in the bottle you’ve got to shake it out, still you weren’t planning on doing owt else.

Alistair Owens

The meandering thoughts of someone with too much time on his hands. Tending to see the obscure and irrelevant in most events I have been forced to record this by family members as a means of diverting attention away from them. But I see their plan.

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