What Do They Mean

Technology or rather the IT branch of the discipline and I don’t get on a great deal. We are strange bedfellows as the saying goes. Mostly this is due to an irrational belief by the IT wallahs that everyone is on their wavelength.

ASDA click and collect posed a challenge the other day. If you update an order and click on ‘amend’ and the banjangles start to whirl saying ‘amending order’ they don’t actually mean it. Apparently you are supposed to ignore this bit and ‘confirm’ it somewhere. Gawd knows where, but you discover your error when you collect the order and find 70% missing. “You forgot to confirm the amendments” the helpful assistant says with a look that you have just joined quite a large club of numpties.

Amazon is the other battlefield although the IT guys there are very cute at manipulating your every move. I use their service when all other channels are exhausted and find the checkout giving delivery options a challenge. They use every which way to slip you into signing for their Prime service . Reminds me of the days when Ryanair used to automatically charge for insurance unless you went the destinations section and scrolled down the alphabetical list to find ‘insurance options’ just after India. Here was the only way you could opt out.

Perhaps we need a ‘Crystal Mark’ checking facility like they have in the use of English in printed literature. I would volunteer to complete test forms; I am brilliant at misinterpreting IT logic but then I am also a customer.

Alistair Owens

The meandering thoughts of someone with too much time on his hands. Tending to see the obscure and irrelevant in most events I have been forced to record this by family members as a means of diverting attention away from them. But I see their plan.

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