Blow the Wind Full of Autumnal Leaves

Just had one of those pointless exercise days. What to do with the autumnal leaves.

Having purchased one of those leaf blowers a few years ago I thought this was the ideal moment to crank it up; petrol don’t you know. The plan was, stage one, to blow all the leaves into a heap. OK minor point, the wind direction has a hand here, ’tis pointless to blow leaves in one direction and have natural resources oppose the effort, significantly. Fear not I noticed this in double quick time before neighbours began tutting.

Stage two; Blowing leaves is like rounding up sheep. They don’t necessarily move in the desired direction. Stage three; have the bright idea to mow over the collected heap to reduce the bulk. Stage four; realise the result was highly beneficial and see the bulk dissipate into a much a much smaller shredded heap. Stage five; question – why the hell did you bother blowing all the leaves into heaps in the first place. You could have use the mover to ‘eat’ the leaves negating the need to collect the damn things. Put the blower away for another year and write a note to self to remember to question its purpose next year.

Alistair Owens

The meandering thoughts of someone with too much time on his hands. Tending to see the obscure and irrelevant in most events I have been forced to record this by family members as a means of diverting attention away from them. But I see their plan.

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